my right name.

my real name is marianne. growing up, i had many names.

my dad called me boo, boo-hee - which he got from and don't ask me how - from o.a. (yeah short for over acting).

my mom called me so many wierd names but the ones that i really can't forget are peacock and dorian gray. yes from oscar wilde's the picture of dorian gray. i have yet to read the book. but aside from the fact that dorian grey is a guy, i don't know why she would call me that. and the funny thing is that i always ask her and i always forget her answer. she also called me danielle - which was supposed to be my middle name. i used to cry so much everytime someone would call me that.

ate rica still calls me yanits from maryanita. ate inggs calls me paker. that's f***er with a filipino accent - i know it's so bad.

in school, everyone called me marianne. of course no one could spell it right. there's marion, marian, maryanne, mariane, marrianne... well i wanted my own nickname. i came up with ian but everyone pronounced it differently so then i changed it to ianne (my brother, third still spells it that way) then i changed it to i-anne. i just got tired of always explaining how to spell and procounce my name so in 2000, when i moved to new york, i just kept it as simple as possible - ayan. a-y-a-n.

"For a moment she rediscovered the purpose of her life. She was here on earth to grasp the meaning of its wild enchantment and to call each thing by its right name" - Boris Pastrenak, Doctor Zhivago

happy birthday, bal.

this email made my morning.

> i am thankful:
>
> for the wife
> who says it's hot dogs tonight,
> because she is home with me,
> and not out with someone else.
>
> for the husband
> who is on the sofa
> being a couch potato,
> because he is home with me
> and not out at the bars.
>
> for the teenager
> who is complaining about doing dishes
> because it means she is at home,
> not on the streets.
>
> for the taxes i pay
> because it means i am employed .
>
> for the mess to clean after a party
> because it means i have been surrounded by friends.
>
> for the clothes that fit a little too snug
> because it means i have enough to eat.
>
> for my shadow that watches me work
> because it means i am out in the sunshine
>
> for a lawn that needs mowing,
> windows that need cleaning,
> and gutters that need fixing
> because it means i have a home
>
> for all the complaining
> i hear about the government
> because it means we have freedom of speech.
>
> for the parking spot
> i find at the far end of the parking lot
> because it means i am capable of walking
> and i have been blessed with transportation.
>
> for my huge heating bill
> because it means i am warm.
>
> for the lady behind me in church
> who sings off key
> because it means i can hear.
>
> for the pile of laundry and ironing
> because it means i have clothes to wear.
>
> for weariness and aching muscles
> at the end of the day
> because it means i have been capable of working hard.
>
> for the alarm that goes off
> in the early morning hours
> because it means i am alive.
>
> and i am thankful:
> for the crazy people i work with
> because they make work interesting and fun!
>
> and finally, for too much e-mail
> because it means
> i have friends who are
> thinking of me.
>
> live well, laugh often, & love with all of your heart!

03.08.2006

so i was right, j and i have been married for almost 4 years!!! wow. next year will be half a decade. this pic was taken on that day. we woke up one morning and decided to get married. of course we forgot to bring a camera. or we did but forgot the memory card or something like that. plus the person we asked to take the photos was horrible. this is one of the 3 pix taken using my cellphone and this was the best out of all of them. *sigh* awwww i just love this picture. and i love everything that happened after that day.

pseudo day off.

everytime j works from home i'd like to think it's my day off. but i end up doing so much more. i usually end up doing big "projects" that i never have time for.

1. i cleared out my desk. i was going through all the little things that i have been keeping for scrapbook pages. gosh i am so behind - like 3 or 4 years behind so that's basically since i got married. i think that is a good sign. hahaha we don't know how long we've been married. j thinks 5 years. we have to go through this everytime. note to self - check marriage certificate. so anyway i found three envelopes with sophie's hair. am i going to keep some of her hair everytime she gets a haircut? but everytime IS special!!!! i also found some background paper i made using photoshop. i found the thank you note from locks of love for when i donated my hair.2. gave max a much needed haircut. i finally got to try the old shaver thingie that my aunt gave me for max. it didn't go too well, well it didn't even work. i ended up doing it the old fashioned way - using our kitchen scissors. i trimmed all the hair on top of his body but had some trouble doing the bottom. mind you i had to do this in the tub with our heavy duty industrial vacuum on. so max now has a goatee. and a bald spot. sorry, buddy. but yey i was able to fit him in some of sophie's old clothes.

3. went through the instructions and manuals binders. yes just like it sounds, i have 3 big binders where i keep all the instructions and manuals from everything we own. that includes all electronics, appliances, furnitures, watches, sunglasses, toys, etc. although i never need any of them again, i keep 'em. i guess when something breaks it's a good excuse to upgrade and buy a new one. which is why i needed to go through them - get rid of the old ones and replace them with the new ones. we usually send our old electronics - broken or not to the philippines. they can pretty much fix anything there. so this year, we will be sending a flat tv (needs new bulb), ps3 (needs new power thingie), digital camera (needs new battery and sd card), blackberry pearl (needs new case) and an ipod nano. that's crazy i think. at least i have all the manuals and stuff!

hat and scarf by an angel.

follow angel on tumblr to see all her latest creations. soooooo good! and she's funny.

happy anniversary, qbc.

today was the 23rd anniversary of queens bible church. we were very blessed to have dave jennings as our guest speaker. he is the vp of nyack college and the director of new life community health center (nlchc), a group of volunteers compelled by christian faith to conduct free medical and dental check ups. awesome. and oh that's the 4'x4' poster i did and its hanging on cooper ave.

time travel.

last night i was telling j that time travel is possible. haha. i'm no quantum physicist or anything - obviously and i haven't a clue if time travelling is possible. in the future maybe they have already invented a time machine - let me rephrase that because that just sounds corny. in the future they would've figured out how time travelling works - if it's through holes in space or just a plug and play gadget. so in reality there might be people from the future right now - just watching us.

the time zones are so wierd. you actually "time adjust" if you're at a different time zone. i mean what happens if you live 5 minutes away from the time zone line. you're practically living in 2 time periods. that's cool! i can easily do that - i am definitely adding that on my bucket list.

anyway, i don't know what i was thinking. you got to be really fast to time travel. the earth is in constant motion right? unless you are faster than the earth's spin, you can't travel through time. and i am gonna stop right here because i can't even explain what i am thinking. (note to self: stop getting into wierd conversation)

j thinks i am having lost withdrawal. and just for the record - no, i don't think lost is real. it's just a damn good show!

easy terrarium.

from parents.com - this is perfect! these are some of the plants i can use: baby tears, pepperomia, dwarf violets i think my favorite is the baby tears! yey i'm excited!

How to Make Our Terrarium

What You'll Need:
•Clear container with a cover (ours is from ikea.com)
•Small gravel pebbles (available at pet and gardening stores)
•Charcoal bits (available at a gardening store)
•Potting soil
•Fork
•Various plants
•Chopstick
•Cork
•Moss, bark, and shells (optional, for decoration)
•Spray bottle
•Water

Instructions:
1.Have your child spread a 3/4" layer of gravel on the bottom of a clear container for drainage, then place a thin layer of charcoal bits over the gravel. This helps to keep the plants from decaying.
2.With your child, layer at least 2" of potting soil over the charcoal. Create hills and valleys to accommodate plant roots.
3.Help him use a fork to rake a hole in the soil and insert the roots. Cover with soil up to the base of the plant. Be careful not to overcrowd the container. You can use any small plant that does well in moist climates and partial light, such as baby tears, pepperomia, dwarf violets, small ferns, and spleenwort plants.
4.Insert a chopstick firmly into a cork to create a tamping tool. Let your child firmly pat the soil around the base with the tool to even out the surface.
5.Add moss, bark, shells, plastic creatures, or other decorations as landscape features.
6.Once the terrarium is complete, have your child mist it several times with a spray bottle, enough to wet the soil. Put the lid on to allow moisture to build up and water the plants. When the container becomes clouded and starts to form drops of "rain" on the glass, remove the cover until the excess moisture evaporates. A balanced terrarium should have some moisture built up but shouldn't get oversaturated.
7.Help your child continue to care for the terrarium by monitoring its water needs and misting it when necessary. He'll love to observe the plants as they thrive in their own little ecosystem!

i want a terrarium.

winter in new york can be so gloomy sometimes. it's like the whole city - or the whole state is naked and vunerable without the trees. i guess new york is just being new york shielding itself with grays and blacks. just like new yorkers. or is it the other way around? hmmmm...... anyway i want more greens! inside the house at least. the other day, i stopped by michael's to see if they had any nice apothecary [uh-poth-uh-ker-ee] jars for rb's wedding. and of course with my luck that day (yeah, really bad-on-of-those-days day), they didn't. but i did see some nice jars that i can use for a terrarium. i've been wanting one for a long time now like this photo by WarmCountryMeadow. just googled how to make one and who knew it's a very involved process. it's like having an aquarium and we all know how well that went.

sophie singing happy birthday.

yes, that's her singing face that she unfortunately got from me.

happy birthday, sophie!

i think i've been watching too much challenge on the food network. man i love that show! let me just say that i have found new respect for the guys on the show. anyway, i was so "inspired" that i decided to make a cake for sophie's birthday. yes, it's my first time to use fondant but i think i did pretty good. sophie loves it! can't wait for tomorrow! yey! and oh we just found out that she can sing happy birthday.

nobody but-choo

how cute is this! wow she's turning 2 on saturday!

rock star!

i made this birthday card for j. i used old magazines for the texts and i made a tiny version of his guitar using scrap paper i had. yeah i love being able to use scraps - see that's why i keep 'em! i love all the little phrases especially "dazzled by twilight". dare i say it, it's so him! lol. that's why i love my rocker!

missing j.

it just dawned on me that our initials: a, j and s are all 9 letter apart! kewlbeans! yeah that's pretty much what's in my head right now.

it works!

I can't sleep and I am to lazy to get up to use the computer. It's about time that I use my bb for something. I'm not big on texting or bbm-ing but I still *heart* my full querty keyboard!! Anyway, here are some things on mind.
1. I accidentally sent an email to all the members of my church. Ooops. It was around 1 am. Then I started thinking who might be awake around this time. I am. After having sophie, this is reAlly late for me. Gosh I'm getting old. I used to go out all night and go straight to work. I realized that I haven't slept straight since sophie was born.
2. Because babies are smaller how come it feels that time is longer for them. Like a day would be equivalent to 2 days for them. Like a day in an ant's life is like 5 mins for us. But it's really all the same time.
3. My sis in law forwarded a link of this blog called myhusbandisannoying. So freaking funny! I wonder how many of the readers actually googled "my husband is annoying".
4. I am getting tired of new york weather.
5. Boo from monster inc. Reminds me so much of my daughter. So cute!
Wow I can really use my bb for this! Awesome.

then let's explode.

came across matt lyon's website and omg. i don't exactly know how to decribe his art, kinda like my thoughts which is why it speaks to me. it reminds me of a lot of things i love and things that ispire me: beatles, my childhood, colors!... it makes me feel good.

r&r's wedding update

yey! we finalized the style of the bridesmaid dress! we ended up going with the jim hjelm dress. i like all his designs but i love our dress especially with the magenta/champagne color combination and omg the shoes! i think we're all going to look good! i can tell that rb, the bride and my sis in law, loved the dress also. 5 months to go before the wedding!

the garden in my documents

sometimes i wonder why i do the things i do like taking photos of flowers. i "collect" photos of flowers among the million things i collect. for example hydrants - yes people i have pictures with hydrants from all the places i have been to. and fyi they're all different which reminds me of a great idea had: i think it'll make a nice coffee table book. but i need a good camera for that. anyhoo, i also collect cards - my old school ids, library cards, credit cards, casino players cards, old gift cards, any plastic cards. i hope to make a table out of tehm one day. how? i have no idea.

some pages from ayazine 2009

mostly of my daughter, Sophie because it's her first year.

table of contents
cover
1 editor's note
2-3 highlights of 2009
4-5 princess sophia turns one
6-7 miami, florida
8 dos & don'ts of the year
9 a recipe from ayan & sophia's kitchen
10-11 centerfold
12 snow day
13 the world of sophia
14 talk to me
15 sophia's firsts
16 superstar
17-20 family photo gallery

ayazine 2009

i am always inpired by some of my favorite magazines, elegant bride and martha stewart. so i wanted to make my own magazine for j this christmas. it was a last minute idea and finished a whole book in 2 weeks. yikes. i made the pages using photoshop, uploaded and ordered them through kodak gallery. ayazine was born. i had so much fun doing this!

hello.

hi and welcome to my blog as i attempt to share my "art" (yeah because i am a very private person). enjoy! xoxo, ayan