growing up, my sis and i would spend our saturday nights at the roller skating rink while our folks socialize. when i moved to ny, i'd borrow my friend's roller blades and would roll my way to central park after work.
anyway, sunday was the perfect day to bust out my roller skates. weather was perfect. sophie also tried out her bike. omg, she now on a 2-wheel bike! we were both excited!
as soon as i got my skates on. the unexpected happens! i froze. i got scared! heart's pounding. is it possible that i forgot how to rollerskate?!!! noooooo!!!! it's very sad actually. i was so depressed until hubs said he'll take me to the rink! possible next date? i love it!
i can't help feeling old. the thing is i feel young like i can do that! i know i can because i have! and i want to. but my head says differently. as much as i hate to admit it, it's full of fear. not so much about the pain of breaking a bone or dying (i know overactive imagination). but the responsibilities that comes with growing up. you know being a mom and having a full time job. like what's gonna happen if i... it's not gonna stop me from trying - thats a good example for sophie to see. at the same time if i do end up in the hospital - that can traumatize her too which will make her not want to try new things. now you see my dilema.
ultimately, what do i really want? isn't that the solution to personal dilemas? it works for me! i want to do it just because i want to. i want to be able to rollerskate with sophie. isn't that what's more important than being just an example. i'm not the sporty type and skating is one thing that i'm good at. or was. well we'll see how it goes.